Laying in bed the other night with Bodhi he sweetly whispered in my ear ”I love you mama…dont hold me to tight.” I lost my breath for a moment and wondered if he had any idea the weight his words held in my heart.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Bodhi I have had to constantly remind myself that this is our journey. The conversation is surreal at best. It is a delicate dance between reality and fear. Trust and acceptance. Tears and laughter. Life and death.
Bodhi is blessed with a healthy body and beautiful soul. His challenges in life will be different then his sisters. I must trust that he is safe. I must allow him to fall down and pick himself up. I must accept the fact that he will get sick. He will get hurt. He will feel pain. AND there will be laughter, love and adventure. All of this is on life’s terms….something I have no control over.
I will lean into my fear of loss and gently let go because holding Bodhi to tight takes away from his dance.
